Tag Archives: Health

Let’s Talk About Vasectomies!

October 21, 2014


Do you want to know what guys love talking about? Vasectomies. Cosmo may think it has something to do with lace underwear, but no. Guys definitely love talking about testicular surgery.

I want to tell you that Austin and I don’t talk about having a third baby every week, but that would be a lie because we talk about it every day. No one wants to talk about it, but out it comes in various forms having to do with things like vacations and private school and most importantly how will we ever have time.

Practically we know it doesn’t really matter. If we have zero or three more kids, we will be fine and happy and make it work. But when two firstborn children marry each other, it is very hard for everyone to just relax.

The conversation often centers around the desire to be more than parents. We find ourselves routinely frustrated over not being able to pursue hobbies because the kids are constantly asking for refills of orange juice. Austin loves babies, but worries the stage of diapers and tantrums will seem unending if we keep the ball rolling. I know how he feels. There are many moments every day when I stop and think, this is all I can sanely handle. This is absolutely it. 

On the other hand, children are heart growers, birth is beautiful, and what about all those instagrams of newborns in sleepsacks?

Pros and cons, pros and cons.

Our plan has always been to wait until Evie is three years old and make a decision from there, but it is hard to push it from my mind. I want to know for sure if these are my last infant years. Will I really only have two little faces in the rear view mirror? Should I be keeping my baby bathtub? What if my robot arm birth control is giving me a disease? IS MY WOMB EMPTY FOREVER.

I have talked about the last baby before. From the beginning I have treasured our daughter like she is the last time I’ll ever kiss a soft baby belly, and yet I can’t help but dream about a Braverman-like crowd at future holiday dinners. I love my kids so much, why wouldn’t I want more? Won’t Waylon and Eva want more siblings? What other kind of humans could we grow!

Of course there are many opinions. Last week I read an article on the top ten reasons why you definitely should have a third child. A few days later, I read another post on why you definitely should not. Both used the word “selfish” and both made it seem like I was only one round of Clomid away from the best or worst decision of my life. It was confusing.

It is human nature to be curious about the what-ifs. I will pray for peace and Xanax. Best case scenario is that I will become more enlightened, or at the very least, more relaxed. We have time. We have two mostly nice kids. Hormonal birth control (probably) won’t kill me. What will be will be.

In the meantime, keep making babies and let me know how it goes.


What’s Your Birth Control?

August 27, 2013


Birth control is complicated. Not only is it a hot topic in regards to who gets it, but even when you have the choice–it can be difficult to decide what kind you’re putting where.

Today’s post isn’t a political one, although if you want my two cents–if we focus more on empowering, educating, and making birth control available to young women–we wouldn’t have to spend so much time killing each other over abortion. It’s a no brainer to me, but this is not that blog. If you want to fight about it, check facebook. I think there are probably some people waiting over there.

Anyways. Talking about birth control options can be awkward outside a group of girlfriends, but I’m getting over it because I need to know. Austin and I aren’t ready to make any permanent alterations (vasectomy high five!) for a few more years, but we’re also not ready for more babies right away after number two arrives. It almost seems silly to go on birth control after needing help to get pregnant in the first place, but for us–it’s not worth the risk. I know my limits. I know residency will look a lot like only seeing Austin every other weekend. I know two will be enough for the next few years.

Austin is on his OB/GYN rotation right now, which means he often comes home to poke and prod my abdomen, tell me horrifying birth stories, and give speeches on the various birth control options he’s learning about. Right now he’s really jazzed about the IUD, which I swore I’d never use–but he’s made a pretty convincing case.

Upside: No hassle! No hormones! I can leave it in for a few years!

Downside: They have to install that contraption while I’m awake. I have a sensitive cervix (nausea, fainting), she doesn’t like to be touched. Also: WHAT IF IT GETS LOST INSIDE OF ME.

He’s also mentioned this crazy device you have stuck inside your arm. I feel better about someone poking me there, but again–what if it gets lost inside my body and travels up into my brain and changes my personality to Amanda Bynes? I’ve been reassured this is impossible, but I have my doubts.

I do know I don’t want to take the pill ever again. I started taking it in 9th grade to manage polycystic ovaries and I’m just over it. Condoms are also out (Gross! Expensive! Sex with a plastic bag!) and I’m not a fan of the Nuva Ring. Too many horror stories. Too much hassle.

I have a few months to decide, which is why I’m talking about it now. I need input. I need advice. I need to make a plan. Plans make me feel safe. Plans reassure me that I’ll get there on time or have what I’ll need or not get pregnant and have three kids under three during the most stressful year of my life.

Hopefully you know something I don’t. Hopefully you have a great birth control story that includes no hassle, no pain, and no terrible side effects! Again, I have my doubts–but I’m all ears.


Feel free to comment anonymously. 

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