• Never dine alone with a friend’s boyfriend (unless it’s his last meal and he’s being shot at dawn).
• Never steal your friend’s thunder at a dinner party—when she’s on, give her room! Pound the table! Bang your glass with a spoon! Laugh the loudest at her story!
• Never agree when a friend says she’s flabby, baggy, saggy, lumpy, floppy, veiny, squishy, scrawny, etc., etc. Tell her to shut up. Tell her life is too short. Tell her to eat, drink, and be merry.
Girl Code is tricky because even though it seems black and white, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes you date your friend’s ex even though you know you shouldn’t and sometimes you hold back from liking your friend’s instagram picture because you just can’t take another selfie with the caption: “My hair is so terrible today!” (aka: TELL ME I’M BEAUTIFUL).
E. Jean outlines some great rules when it comes to girl code. I nodded voraciously over each one.
Some humble additions:
- If your girlfriend asks if you’d like to go with her to the bathroom, always say yes. She’s not afraid of going alone. She is not being needy or clingy. She just wants to speak to you in private. It is an honor to receive this request. Put down your dinner roll and be grateful.
- Do not be one of those women who say, “I just get along better with guys” because it’s a lie. Every girl gets along better with guys. Female relationships take work. Relationships with men do not because you have boobs and they want to go to there.
- If your girlfriend asks you if she should get bangs, the answer is no.
- If your girlfriend asks you if you like her new haircut featuring bangs, the answer is yes.
- If one of your best friends facebooks, tweets, or Instagrams–it is your job to get the ball rolling by publicly affirming her.
- Do not criticize your girlfriend’s parenting.
- Do not criticize your girlfriend’s marriage.
- Do not offer advice unless advice is requested. Even then, keep your words brief and your ears open.
- Do not let jealousy ruin real relationship.
- 50% of female communication is affirmation. Embrace it. Yes, you deserve that ice cream. Yes, you knew it was over. Yes, you tried your best at art. The rest of the time it’s just being an honest and tactful human being.
- Don’t interrupt.
- If there’s been a rift in communication and too much time has passed, it can all be solved with a handwritten letter.
- Never post vague, passive aggressive statements about girlfriends in a public space.
- Be the girl at the bridal/baby showers who is helping. There’s nothing else to do anyway.
- If your girlfriend has you over for dinner, help clear the dishes. Compliment her decor.
- If your girlfriend is pregnant or has a baby, applaud her courage. If you’re not excited, fake it and send flowers.
- Copy with care.
- Think carefully before bringing up anything remotely private in front of your girlfriend’s husband/boyfriend/partner.
- No matter what, remember this: Women who support other women will always be happier and healthier.
What are your rules? What’s listed in your girl code?