Tag Archives: Baby Daddy

To Dr. Baer

May 17, 2015

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Today Austin graduates from medical school. It has been a long journey, but an important one. Despite long rotations, solo parenting, and difficult exams– these have been some of the best years of our life. We’ve made dear friends, had our babies, and found a village. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

When Austin first told me he wanted to leave his graphic design job to go to med school, I was worried we would lose each other in the process. I was also worried that I’d have to take a backseat to his career and raise our kids alone. None of it and all of it came true. Hills and valleys with every path in this life. We have been so lucky.

Today isn’t the finish line. After one year of internal medicine, four years of radiology, another match, and a fellowship–Austin will be almost 40 when he’s an attending physician. And yet we celebrate. We celebrate the choice to start over, four years of hard work, and the end of a very good chapter in our book. We also celebrate the beginning of a career. There is nothing like finally doing something you love.

It takes courage to leave your desk job at 27 and start again from scratch. Something to celebrate today.

To Dr. Baer.

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First Day Of Med School
Marrying A Student
Being Sad About All The Studying
12 Steps To Becoming El Doctoro
Residency Tour
City Search
Match Day
Last Day Of Med School

Last Day Of Med School

April 24, 2015

First Day Of Med School

The first day of medical school was hot and humid and I cried when he left because my baby was the Charlie Sheen of babies and I didn’t want to be alone. When Austin came home that evening, he put his head in his hands and said, “I don’t know if I can do this.” I didn’t know either, but I smiled a crazy eye smile and said, “Of course you can!” because that’s what you do when your spouse takes out a few hundred thousand dollars worth of school loans.

Today is Austin’s last day of medical school. And even though there is still so much hard work to be done, it is always good to pause and celebrate doing something you never thought you’d be able to do. Cheers to surviving colic, toddlers, and a marriage while studying blood vessels and all the other stuff inside our bodies (clearly I wasn’t paying attention).

You did it.

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Match Day

March 20, 2015

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Today is Match Day, the day fourth year medical students across the country are paired to a residency program in their speciality during a weird ceremony designed to give you a fart attack.

For most of you, this information is strange and slightly boring. But for my little family and community, it’s a big day. A day that decides what the next six years of life looks like.

If you are new here, my spousal unit Austin is in his fourth year of med school, intending to graduate in May. I have conveniently put our timeline into an easy to read list in The End Of Medical School following an equally gripping post on Marrying A Student.

Match Day is confusing. No matter how many times I explain it, our parents still ask us over and over what is going on and is he a doctor yet. If only, parents. If only.

Here’s how it works. First you go to medical school! Actually first you sit at a your desk job doing graphic design until you’re 27 and realize you are in the wrong career. Then you apply to medical school (hard), get accepted to medical school (harder), and work hard to pass each year (hardest). Then in your fourth year of school, you interview on a residency tour before submitting a list of programs ranked by preference while the programs do the same about those they’ve interviewed. Finally a computer takes this information and spits out where you’ll work and live for 3-6 years, depending on your speciality. This is your “match.”

Bored yet?

It would be nice if someone simply called after your interviews and told you if and where you’ve gotten a job. You know, like normal people. Instead the medical community has made up a bizarre ceremony called “Match Day” where nervous med students read their destiny in a dimly lit room while the local news hovers (really) and spouses cry happy or sad tears. Kind of like the hunger games, except nobody dies (except our spirits).

Last year’s match day at Penn State, a visual aid:

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We arrive today at 10am and open the letters at noon.

Some things are certain. On Monday Austin got an email letting him know he did, indeed, match to a program, as some students “scramble” into leftover programs or don’t match at all (nervous poo). This was great news and means we know for sure we’ll be headed to one of four locations on our rank list:

Hershey, Pennsylvania.
Boston, Massachusetts.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Portland, Maine.

Staying in Hershey is our first choice. Not only is it located only 45 minutes from our dream destination, it’s close to New York, D.C., and most importantly–community. A community helping us raise our babies and grow into adult skin. For all its quirks and strange habits, small town living suits our stage of life right now and, for a long list of reasons, makes it easier to parent while also pursuing our dreams.

Of course the other three spots would be great, too. Giant, life-changing pros and cons to each place.

Austin graduates in May and then begins the six year journey to becoming an interventional radiologist this June in a location to be determined in just a few short hours. Pass the Pepto.

Four very different futures at our feet.

Hershey, Philly, Boston, or Portland, here we come.

Onward and upward.

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Results will be posted on FB & Instagram following the match!

Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2015

i like you

“Much has been said about love…” – Every writer trying to write about love

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Say what you will about Valentine’s Day, it has already been said before. Lovely, weird, silly, stupid, expensive, polarizing, fake, cliche — all those words are true.

It is hard to celebrate love without celebrating something that isn’t real. The love we see in romantic comedies, in Disney’s wide eyed princes, in reality shows with fantasy suites and cheap red roses–it is such a giant spectacle. At the end of the day, no one wants to raise their glass or exchange chalky hearts to that kind of love.

Real love is problematic, messy, covered in boring dinners and rehashed arguments on the quality of hand towels. Real love is not forever. You can be in love for decades and have it disappear. A boyfriend, a wedding, a ten year anniversary–they are not finish lines.

Real love is perpetual motion and constant work. The navigation of emotions and responses and honesty. The daily struggle against our selfish tendencies.

What I want to remember on this strange holiday is that the love worth celebrating is the love that stays even after the ugliest words and most shattered expectations. The love that fights, that fixes, that says all the words out loud. The love that keeps moving forward.

Like every other holiday we’ve made up, Valentine’s Day is what you want it to be.

May the love you seek find its way.

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Toddler Roadtrip + City Search

December 17, 2014

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Hello and hello. We are back from a long leg of Residency Tour 2014 and happy to be in our own beds, with our own smells, and old jars of applesauce going bad in the fridge.

It was a good trip. We did exactly 4% of what I’d want to do while traveling, but 99% of what I expected to do with two kids under three. And it was actually really great.

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Waylon was a dream. He ate well, slept hard, and happily drew giant monsters and ABCs over and over again while we crossed state lines. He was adaptable and cheerful, basically the exact opposite of what I expected a three-year-old away from home to be like.

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Eva was a toddler getting a tooth who didn’t want to be in a car-seat, but my expectations were low. And truthfully she was fine. She was curious and excited. There were a few nights she didn’t sleep well, but she made up for it by napping in the stroller and feeding herself bottles like an ace baby.

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I did a lot of research before this trip. I googled things to do in each location and reached out to you for advice on traveling with little ones. You were so helpful. The restaurants, museums, and attractions you suggested were all on point. As far as the travel tips, here are the five pieces of advice that saved me the most:

1) iPad. We borrowed one from my parents and it was a lifeline not so much in the car, but in the hotel when Eva was napping and Waylon and I were locked in the bathroom like hostages.

2) Dollar Store. Before we left, I stopped by the dollar store and got things like a slinky, a dry erase board, finger skateboards, and giant blinking glow wands. All big hits and major distractions in the car.

3) Food. I knew to bring food, but what kind of food. Best buys were applesauce pouches, veggie stick bags, fig bars, cliff bars, water bottles, and dry cereal. We also brought along a few bananas to slowly rot on our dashboard!

4) Foot rest. Whoever suggested building a footrest under Waylon to keep his legs from dangling the whole time–my eternal gratitude. We put the pack n’ play and my duffle bag on the floor below his car-seat, giving him a place to rest his feet and prop up whatever he was playing with.

5) Headphones. This should have been an obvious thing to bring, but it wasn’t. After it was suggested, I packed both earbuds for me (so I could listen to Serial and not wake anyone up) and regular headphones for Waylon for whenever Eva was sleeping in the same room or car.

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Austin interviewed in Hershey, Philadelphia, Boston, and Portland and they all went well. Each program and location has its set of pros and cons. It will be hard to decide which to rank first.

I tried to ask as many questions as I could in each city, interrogating everyone from the bellboy (bellman?) to the moms at the playground about the weather, restaurants, schools, and parking. I tried not to be annoying but I was annoying. Where do you grocery shop? Do you use public transportation? How are the parks? Where do you get your haircut? Do you go to church? Used illegal drugs? HOW’S YOUR MARRIAGE DOING?

I was also the Barbara Walters of my minivan, asking Austin what he thought about each detail of our possible life in each city. Will you be happy here? Do you think we could afford a three bedroom apartment? Won’t I probably need at least two more pairs of Hunter boots with these weather conditions?

It was hard not to let insignificant things influence our opinion of a place. For example, the hotel staff in Portland was nicer than the hotel staff in Boston, but that obviously doesn’t matter as we will not be living at the Hilton Garden Inn.

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The whole process is very strange. These four cities are so different from each other that it’s hard to place the right amount of value on their qualities.

Descriptions based on locals, research, and experience listed below.

Philadelphia, PA

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Familiar, expensive, lots to do, lots to see, could maybe buy a house?, close to beach, close to my parents, close to New York, did I mention I could get easy babysitting?, dirty, restaurants!, pubs, friends nearby, public transportation, long commutes, city living, farmer’s markets, small apartment, parking situation?, safety situation, city of brotherly love.

Boston, MA

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New, exciting, have you looked around this place?, far from family, far from friends, expensive, could not buy a house, could not have both cars, could maybe not afford thai take-out, tiny apartment, Children’s Museum, big city feel, could say “Oh, I live in Boston!”, stuff to write about, did I mention it’s expensive?, beautiful, lots to do, lots to see, lots to eat, adventure, good schools, great people, friends to be made, parking tickets, city of education.

Hershey, PA

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Familiar, inexpensive, wouldn’t have to move, close to family, close to friends, close to three major cities, could buy a house, could buy a three bedroom house, could have a yard, could have an office, good schools, not Boston, not on the coast, not near amazing Children’s museums, dire restaurant situation, small, final dream destination nearby, quiet, babysitting available, happy memories to build on, Pleasantville.

Portland, ME

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New, exciting, are you looking at this picture?, healthy, on the coast, near all the lobsters, far from family, far from friends, no babysitting, could maybe buy a house?, beautiful beach, cold ocean, could say “Oh, I live in Maine!”, hipster vibe, all the amazing foods, all the amazing restaurants, good schools, friends to be made, walking trails, a whole state to explore, winter jackets, winter fun, winter everything, a city of interesting footwear and raw milk.

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This time next year we will be living one of many very different lives.

The good news is that no matter what, we will be okay. We’ll make a life and a happy home no matter what that piece of paper says.

Thanks for walking alongside us.

truth

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