Dear Friend (Letter To Moms Of Toddlers)

January 29, 2015

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Hello Mamas. I come in peace.

No judgements. No agenda. No advice on potty training or vaccinating or how to get your toddler to stop peeing in the house plants.

I know just as little as you do, which has actually ended up being quite revealing. You can read all about it in my new book, “Honestly, You Just Wait It Out.”

Because that’s what you do. You wait and wait and wait, and then one day they stop throwing peanut butter sandwiches on the kitchen floor and your google searches on child personality disorders seem a bit dramatic.

It is so startling when your precious, newborn baby suddenly becomes a toddler. It sneaks up on you at first; a small tantrum in the Target parking lot, minor hysteria over the inconsistency of socks. Then all of a sudden they are pointing their finger, stomping their feet, and throwing all their raisins into the toilet. Sometimes I feel like, who invited this guy to the party? I am not cleaning up after this guy.

I know there is a lot of great stuff out there about how you’re supposed to carpe diem or not carpe diem or how we’re supposed to stop yelling or cut ourselves a break.

Here is what I want to say to you today:

1) It gets better. Those nuggets eventually do grow up enough to communicate that they do or do not want the red crayon. One day you will wake up and realize you can have a whole conversation and maybe even clean the kitchen without someone standing in the dishwasher. And restaurants? Let me tell you about restaurants. Suddenly going out to eat becomes less like crying in the parking lot and more like eating your chicken sandwich with two hands. I cannot overemphasize this small and important joy.

2) It gets worse. Oh, did you think parenting was going to get easier? Wishing away the toddler years is easy when you’re getting kicked in the mouth during diaper changes. The thing is, every stage of parenthood has its pros and cons. I have learned the hard way that you will never enjoy parenting if you are always wishing they were older. Kids will forever and always be annoying. It just appears in different forms. If you’re feeling despondent, remember the restaurant thing.

3) Friends help. Are you so tired of hearing how it takes a village? I remember thinking, “A village sounds great, but I’m too tired to make small talk about The Bachelor.” Honey these are the golden years, but you will drown without help. Single moms, married moms, working moms, stay at home moms–everyone needs a buddy who says, “This is normal” or “Yes, me too” or “You get the wine, I’ll bring the pizza.” Suffer through the small talk to find your mom soul mate. She is out there. Just a girl, standing in front of another girl, asking for a babysitting swap.

And finally, if you are wondering if your two-year-old will ever stop pooping in his underwear, the answer is yes. Definitely yes.

Honestly. You just wait it out.

Keep on keeping on.

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15 Things To Watch On Netflix Watch Instantly

January 27, 2015

Friends

Hello January, we are almost over you. Winter is zipping by, but some of these snow days are dragging us down.

Lucky for us, one of the 90s best sitcoms featuring six immature adults and Jennifer Aniston’s nipples is available to us night and day. I can hardly believe my glazed over eyes.

Following an equally gripping 10 Movies To Watch On Netflix Watch Instantly, here are fifteen more things to watch to get us through the rest of winter.

Happy couch dwelling. Spring will be here before we know it.

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1) Silver Linings Playbook

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If You’re Looking For: Quirky Romance Drama

If You Like: The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence finally not being Katniss

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2) Friends

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If You’re Looking For: 90s Sitcoms, Laugh tracks, Nostalgia, Comedy, Binge watching

If You Like: Seinfeld, Everybody Loves Raymond, Gilmore Girls

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3) Gilmore Girls

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If You’re Looking For: 90s sitcoms, Sarcasm, Nostalgia, Comedy, Binge watching

If You Like: Friends, Lauren Graham, people talking really fast

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4) Notting Hill

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If You’re Looking For: 90s classic rom-com

If You Like: Runaway Bride, Pretty Woman, Everything I’ve ever loved

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5) Thanks For Sharing

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If You’re Looking For: Indie Drama, Mark Ruffalo

If You Like: Stuck In Love, Girl Most Likely, The Kids Are Alright

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6) Mystic Pizza

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If You’re Looking For: 80s classic rom-com, More Julia Roberts, Baby Matt Damon

If You Like: Steel Magnolias, Runaway Bride, Pretty Woman

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7) I Don’t Know How She Does It

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If You’re Looking For: No brainer rom-com, Cheap rom-com, SJP fix

If You Like: What To Expect When You’re Expecting, Valentines Day

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8) Girl Most Likely

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If You’re Looking For: Indie Drama, Kristen Wiig fix

If You Like: Skeleton Twins, Stuck In Love, Thanks For Sharing, Obvious Child

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9) Hook

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If You’re Looking For: 90s Kid Classic

If You Like: Home Alone, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jack

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10) The Stepford Wives

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If You’re Looking For: Satire, Comedy, Spoof

If You Like: Betwitched, Spin Offs 

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11) The Blue Lagoon

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If You’re Looking For: 1980s nostalgia, Movies that are so bad they are good

If You Like: 1980s nostalgia, The Notebook, The Lifetime Network

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12) Happy Christmas

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If You’re Looking For: Unscripted indie movies that appear to have been shot with an iPhone that make you cry into your margarita because you are the writer mom

If You Like: Tiny Furniture  

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13) Legends Of The Fall

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If You’re Looking For: Classic American Drama

If You Like: A River Runs Through It, Dances With Wolves, Brad Pitt’s baby face, Crying

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14) Sense And Sensibility

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If You’re Looking For: Classic Romantic Comedy

If You Like: Pride and Prejudice, Emma

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15) Sherlock

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If You’re Looking For: Suspense, Drama, TV, binge

If You Like: House Of Cards, Benedict Cumberbatch

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What are you watching?